you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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