they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
