I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
