This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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