small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
