It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
