I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize