just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm always down for nudity.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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