you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize