Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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