i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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