that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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