At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
