Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
