I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
