I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
