I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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