Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
