So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
