if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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