apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
