My room smells like vodka and shame
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm having to shit out rocks
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