I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
