Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
