nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
