Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
