yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
whose parrot is this?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
