I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
