just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
