I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize