Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize