I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
