I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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