Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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