Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize