i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
