I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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