i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
