Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
