Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
