I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
