I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
