Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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