apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
