Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
where does the pee come out of this thing
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
