He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
two words...techno handjob
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
