talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
