I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
