3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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