That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
