Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize