Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
