Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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