I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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