ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
only you would photoshop your dick
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
