I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
