I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You need Xanax blowdarts
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
