Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
