Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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