i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
