So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just invented taco cereal.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
