My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
