I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
